Ouch, Conviction

I worked a long desk shift last night, and did almost nothing of productive value. I watched movies and cruised around facebook. Of what value is that? Thinking about it, I could have been using that time to study my Bible. But I didn't. If I'm seeking after God, if I love Him, I should want to spend as much time as possible with Him. Yet what does last night say about my relationship with my Father? I want to be seeking Him with everything I am. Last night really brought me face to face with my own apathy. I chose to be apathetic. That's not who I want to be, how I want to live. I don't want to spend my life in a recliner, being comfortable, just drifting along, stagnant. No. I want to be on fire for my God, willing to follow where ever He leads, even though I can't see where He's going with this. That's who I want to be, completely sold out for Him. It's a choice. It's choosing God over the distractions, over everything else that fills my life. It's choosing Him over everything else.