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First, watch this.

A friend of mine posted this on facebook not too long ago. And it was a bit of a 2x4 moment. I have definitely done that a lot. Which is kind of crazy, considering that one of my biggest fears is complacency. I don't want to wake up one day and  realize that I have done nothing with my life. Now listen to this. (Yes, I know it's a country song, that's not the point. Listen to the lyrics. Actually listen to them.)

I don't like being scared, and I don't like being uncomfortable.Yet that's really where I want to be. That's where I'm going to be if I'm truly following Christ. Which brings us to today's church service. I all too often want God to fix what's wrong. But my focus is off. My focus is on what's wrong with me. It's really a twisted sort of pride. It's also not fun at all to spend lots of time thinking about what a mess you are. Acknowledgement is one thing, dwelling on it is another. I'm never going to be perfect. None of us are. But that's not the point. The point is pursuing Christ above all else. That's where the focus needs to be. Not on poor pitiful me. On Christ. If I'm striving for that, everything else will fall into place. It's not going to be easy, either. The last year has been rough, with school and life in general. I'm finally starting to realize why. Because it's only when I have nothing left to cling to that I really turn to God. Not a fun process. But necessary. Because I want to know Jesus. I want to be always seeking to know Him better. I never want to be satisfied with where I am in my relationship with Christ. I want to seek Him above all else. That's where I am. Rough as getting here has been, I think it's a good place to start the summer. (In case you didn't know, I'm spending my summer interning with Infusion Ministries in Knoxville, TN. Check them out. www.infusionnow.org) I'm both excited and terrified. I know this is where I need to be, but it's totally different than anything I've done before. And it's just me. I'm not doing this with anyone from here. But I know it will  be good, because I know this is where God wants me, and that He is going to use this. Prayers would be appreciated, and I'm planning to use this blog as a form of updating people. Anyway, that's where I am. Let the summer begin.