Broken

• Noah was drunk.
• Abraham was too old.
• Isaac was a daydreamer.
• Joseph was abused.
• Moses had a stuttering problem.
• Gideon was afraid.
• Samson was a womanizer.
• Rahab was a prostitute.
• Jeremiah and Timothy were too young.
• David had an affair and was a murderer.
• Elijah was suicidal.
• Isaiah preached naked.
• Jonah ran from God. 
• Naomi was a widow.
• Job went bankrupt.
• Peter denied Christ.
• The disciples fell asleep while praying.
• Martha worried.
• Paul was too religious.
• Lazerus was dead

We've all seen lists like this. Yet we still think we are unusable. That there is too much wrong in our lives for God to possibly be able to work through the mess. We put the people the Bible tells us about up on a pedestal, as if they were somehow so much better than we can ever hope to be. That's not true. Read the stories. Their lives were generally a mess. What they had was FAITH. I've been reading the Old Testament, and the faith shown blows me away. There are chapters and chapters about how horrible things are, or are going to be because the people have turned away from God then BOOM: hope. This unfailing hope that no matter what, God is going to come through. And He does. Mind blown. It is so easy to get caught up in the hard things in life and lose sight of that hope. Is that self-centered or what? Pastor Greg says all the time that God uses broken people. He picks the underdog every time. The weak to shame the strong. And let's face it, we're all broken. We want to be "on fire" but forget that that involves burning. A life is never to shattered.

Random Thoughts on Ezekiel

My current reading is in Ezekiel. God tells Ezekiel to do all kinds of weird stuff as signs to the people of Israel. He definitely would have gotten people's attention. Which was the point. God sent him to his own people who were proud, stubborn, and foolish. Ezekiel 16 talks about how much Jerusalem has played the harlot, which is a lot. She disrespects God, the love of her youth, and runs after pretty much everything that isn't God. She's going to be punished for that. But what blows me away is what the Bible always comes back to. Yes, there will be punishment, but God will take her back. He's still going to honor His covenant even though His people haven't. They'll be chastised, but He takes them back. Every time. I read about all these horrible things, but it always comes back to God coming through for His people. Always. I'm just as bad as the Israelites about forgetting that.

Church Notes: Back to Basics

We can't do anything to earn salvation. There are no certain rules to follow, no cut off line of doing enough good stuff. Nothing. This isn't a new message, it's one I've heard on a semi-regular basis for as long as I can remember. And that's what Pastor Todd talked about in church yesterday. The thing is, even though I've heard this who knows how many times before, I need to be reminded. I need to be reminded that there is nothing special about me, and that I really do deserve to go to hell. Imagining the court room scene really hit me yesterday. God is on the judgement seat, I'm the accused, and Satan is the one doing the accusing. All the awful things he says are true. I do deserve eternal punishment. Then Jesus steps up. "She's mine. I bought her with my  blood. She's mine." Not of anything I can do. Bet because for some reason I don't understand, He loves me. He paid my price out of love. I can never earn that, never live up to that. But I can live for Him. Because He paid the price for my life in blood, in a sacrifice I can't even begin to imagine. Read a medical description of the cruxifiction sometime. The love that would do that blows me away. How do we so often forget that? Forget the price and forget what it means to be washed in the blood?

Lamentations

Today's reading was Lamentations. Talk about a depressing book. Captivity, desolation, starvation, cannibalism, it is not a pretty picture for Israel. Yet even the book of laments is not without hope. Following a long list of how much the writer's life sucks, you get  verses like this: Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23) Or this: You drew near on the day I called on You, and said, "Do not fear!" (Lamentations 3:57) Whoa. Talk about faith. Things couldn't get much worse, but they don't lose faith in God. More importantly, He doesn't abandon them. After their time of punishment, they will be restored. For a depressing book, it gives me a lot of hope.

Memorization

Memorizing Scripture us something I really want to do. Yet I am horrible at making myself do it. I love being able to instantly call to mind the little bit I do have memorized. So why is this such an issue? Because I haven't been very disciplined. I haven't set aside a specific time to sit down, just for a little bit each day, and actually work on this. I haven't carried note cards around in my pockets to study at random moments. So this post is my way to force myself to be accountable. If you see me, ask me how it's going. Ask me to recite what I'm memorizing. Because I'm tired of slacking. I'm tired of saying I want to do this, then not doing it. You can't fight with a dull sword.

Church Notes: Desperation

What caused Abel to devote himself to God? What was going in Enoch's life that he walked with God? What was Noah doing that he alone was righteous? How was Abraham so fully tuned in to God? They sure weren't perfect. Except for Abel and Enoch, the Bible tells us about plenty of sins and failings. Yet they are the ones listed in the "Hall of Faith" in spite of all that. What so drew them to God? They were desperate to KNOW God. There was no good enough, far enough. There was no settling, no comfortable. These men never stopped chasing after God. We can read that in their stories. They messed up majorly sometimes, but they still pursued that relationship with God and mind-blowingly amazing things happened. They made a deliberate choice not to be satisfied with where they were. I want to be that DESPERATE.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ul1XxsYxQjc

Thoughts on Jeremiah

I'm currently reading in Jeremiah. There is a lot of doom predicted, and I don't claim to fully understand it. But, the basic idea is that lots of bad things are going to happen to Judah because they have turned away from God and refuse to repent. I was reading in chapter 15 this morning, and all that doom starts to get to Jeremiah. He's not a very popular guy because of what he's been saying either. Yet God tells him to stand strong, that He will make Jeremiah a bronze wall. He also tells Jeremiah that the people will fight against him, but that they won't prevail. God protects him. I find that to be very encouraging. Because there are days, weeks, when I feel like everything is falling apart. Doom, doom, doom. But what I tend to forget is that God has promised to be there. The Good thing is, He hasn't forgotten, even if I have. Even when I'm so caught up in my own little dramas and pity parties I can't see Him, He's still there. Those are my ramblings for this morning, take them as you will.